18 hours with my team taught me more about leadership than 6 months of holding the position.
Over the 1st and 2nd of July, I attended a leadership workshop with my favourite people – the student council.
When we first got to know that we’re going to have the workshop in school, and that our instructors will be in-house, I won’t lie… all of us were underwhelmed.
We thought that this would be another boring seminar, like every other one, with it just being much MUCH longer. Seriously, 18 hours over 2 days! All of us thought that there could not be that much to leadership. I personally, thought I had it down, and my hubris led me to believe that there was nothing more to learn. Spoiler alert: there was, and just how much there was… was astonishing.
We began with Joyeeta ma’am expressing that the team wanted this to be a transformational experience, not just with respect to our function as the student council, but as human beings, as catalysts of change throughout our lives.
We thought that this was just something people say, because people say a lot of big things like that, that never really happen.
But, do you know when I realised that things were getting real, when I saw Rudraa talking in “the circle” without being interrupted or ignored by ANYONE. This happened on the first day: a day we spent understanding leadership and its ideals. My highlight of that day was when we had a value-auction; we were split up into teams, each team received fake money to bid on values. We could get a maximum of three.
My group spent 6500 Rs, almost half our budget, on a single value… love. I must admit: Vinayak Khashu, the lover of all lovers, was the main catalyst to this decision, my love for him drove our bidding war higher and higher “Pyaar mei diwala ho gaya.” But do you know what was most tragic… we left unity and collaboration on the table, unbid.
The twist, as there always is one, was that we had to solve a case study with the ideals we amassed. Through this, I realised: we were bidding on love, the emotion, and not love, the value. The case studies were based on problems we encounter a lot as a council. We tried to formulate our own “solutions” to those problems, but those solutions, more often then not, were just playing hot potato with the problem. Passing it on to a higher authority, achieving nothing ourselves.
This day had two very vital learnings for me, we are not solution-oriented, and the ideals we speak of are not what we’re putting into practice or valuing.
The second day was magical. We talked about putting leadership into practice. We talked about vulnerability, the Johari window. Having split up into groups, all of us told each other about our “blind spots” and shared very personal battles we’re dealing with. This is what brought us the closest.
We then did a few theatre activities, which Vidushi Ma’am led. She is so fantastic at emotions. We always say that actions speak louder than words, but often we ignore how our people are behaving physically. Observing gives new epiphanies, ones we were ignorant of previously.
We also saw how we can talk to someone who is going through something. Not through pity but through empathy. Not through empty words, but comfortable silence. Not through relating, but embracing. This is something Pope Francis talked about in “Let Us Dream,” an idea that has become a core part of who I am now.
We learnt the dfiference between criticising and critiquing. The difference between breaking down and building up. How you must always critique the work or the behaviour; but NEVER the person. It is best to sandwhich your criticism with an appreciative start and a warm finish, leaving room for growth.
TD sir led two very integral sessions that day, first on teamwork: showcasing through our own actions how important practice and analysis is. How we must position our team according to its strengths. How we must learn from not only our own mistakes, but the mistakes of others. Always survey the situation, choose wisely, practice, implement, and reflect.
The other on data, how important it is as evidence. How we can learn and measure with it. And most importantly, how useless it is without attaching stories to it.
My two main takeaways from this day were: to listen and to ask.
This workshop had revelation after revelation after revelation. My council members who expressed such indignance towards this workshop before it began were now asking, praying, for it to be longer. I got a voice note from one of my most soft-spoken nonchalant team members saying “I didn’t think so but this was genuinely life changing shit.” Everyone thought the same. Everyone. I cannot stress HOW RARE THIS IS.
Today, I had conversations with 2 juniors, with them being very vulnerable to me, do you know why? I asked.
My council today was cheery, there were so many hugs, we were laughing gleefully even while doing very normal day-to-day things, because we have gotten so close.
The effects are clear.
Neil Pahuja 